Tuesday, April 20, 2010


Alanis Morissette didn't know what the f*%# she was talking about. A black fly in your chardonnay is not ironic. Want to understand irony? Read on...


I've always been wary of parking blocks. I've ALWAYS parked a good foot away from them. When I bought a car with 17" rims I learned to park even further away from parking blocks and curbs. (In case you're not following already, 17" rims mean a very low profile vehicle. If you're still not following, this means a car that has very little distance between the bottom of the car and the ground.)

Chapter 1

Three months after buying the car of my dreams (this was 2+ years ago) I went to meet the hubby and kids for dinner. In my rush, I neglected to notice the bright yellow parking block at the top of my chosen parking spot. CRUNCH. That was the sound of my bumper riding over the bright yellow parking block.

Unfortunately, instinct cannot always be trusted, as my first instinct, the one I followed, was the instinct that screamed "REVERSE! REVERSE!" CRUNCH. That was the sound of my bumper being mangled by the bright yellow parking block. My future was not as bright as that parking block.



Chapter 2

Fast forward 2+ years: April 19, 2010. I have saved the funds for a new front bumper. I have purchased said bumper and have taken the car to my car guy so he can restore the Viggen to its original glory. I have gone to Denver, leaving my car in good hands (meaning hands that obviously aren't mine). In a week my car guy has restored my beautiful car to (almost) its original luster. The engine is in tip-top shape. The body looks good. All in all, me and the Vig were once again on the same page.

While there are still a few small things to fix, in general, RAG TAAP life was good. I was so thrilled to have finally fixed my beautiful baby I went to the auto shop and loaded up on stuff to clean and detail the inside. And then I actually cleaned and detailed the inside. (Two kids are hell on a car's interior.) Have I already mentioned that RAG TAAP life was good?

Chapter 3

Fast forward a measly four hours which begins the RAG TAAP taxi service. Literally four hours after picking up the Vig from the body shop, I had to pick up my mother and then the Goose. I stopped to pick up mom and employed the parking brake to keep the car, well, braked. While I moved some cords to underneath the floor mat, the car started to roll. To wrap up a long story, the parking brake apparently was not working, as the Vig rolled forward. And over a parking block.

Yes, four hours after getting my car back from being fixed because of driving over a parking block, my car rolled over a parking block. If that's not ironic, I don't know what is.

Chapter 4

Thank God for tequila. After having a complete emotional meltdown, I decided to take matters into my own hands (my good friend Jose helped me with this decision). I went out to the garage, grabbed my trusty drill, and in 20 minutes had the right-side bumper fixed and looking like new. (There was no body damage--it was just pulled from the fender.)


It is now the next day. Today I will be calling my mechanic to ask him why my parking brake doesn't work so well. In the meantime, I will now be backing in to all parking spaces. I do not want to go through this again.